Amazon Prime Shopping Cart: Seasonal Affective Disorder Edition
- 24 pack Maruchan Ramen. Shrimp, obvi.
2. Bulk Batiste dry shampoo. It is far too cold for wet hair.
3. Coconut oil for liberal skin-slathering and that one time I’ll bake muffins this year.
4. Orange and brown colored napkins that I will buy for Thanksgiving, promptly forget about, and will therefore remain in a hall closet for 3 years.
5. TightsTightsTights. Floral is the new chevron. Control-top optional.
6. A candle that smells like cinnamon. Well, a vaguely chemical version of cinnamon.
7. Ultra-strength laundry detergent to remove the coconut-oil-body imprints from bedding.
8. Travel book about Costa Rica because SCREW THIS COLD NOVEMBER RAIN.
9. St. John’s Wort and UV lamp because it’s completely dark by 4pm.
10. Should probably get more Ramen.
11. All of the Elena Ferrante books because mama’s not leaving the house.
12. Fancy bright pink lipstick to wear for no one (see #11 above).
13. Neti pot for cleansing mucus-y sinuses and snorting vodka.
14. Pumpkin-flavored instant coffee for lazy mornings in bed with Bob’s Burgers reruns.
15. Pumpkin-flavored rum for lazy afternoons in bed with Bob’s Burgers reruns.
16. Do they sell cheese on Amazon? Why don’t we have any cheese in the house? (Commence crying fit.)
